TMMC readers that have been around from the beginning know that I have an interest in art documentaries - in fact one of the first movie's I reviewed was the art documentary The Rape of Europa. This week I decided to go back to my roots and review another art-based documentary. So thanks to my new Netflix instant viewing queue courtesy of Wii (which I highly recommend) I uncovered the little known 2005 documentary Stolen. Aptly titled, this film did one thing to me - it stole hours of my life from me and dammit, I want them back!
What turned me onto this movie was the subject matter - the description read like one of my favorite movies, A Thomas Crown Affair, come to life. In the wee hours of St. Patrick's Day 1990, thieves disguised as police offers entered Boston’s Isabella Stewart Gardner Museum, tied up and gagged security guards and stole 13 priceless masterpieces. Let me stop for a moment and point out the security guards' fatal flaw that allowed this to happen. As someone who's lived in Boston, never in a million years would a Boston cop go to an art gallery on St. Patty's Day morning, I don't care if it was on fire. Seriously - they're either policing the parade, in the parade, or throwing beer cans AT the parade. What the hell were the guards thinking!? But I digress.
Considered one, if not the, greatest art heists in U.S. history, the works stolen included one of only 35 Vermeers in the world and several Rembrandts. To this day, none of the paintings have been recovered. The documentary Stolen traces the acquisition of the collection by Mrs. Gardner, their theft and famous art detective Harold Smith's international search for the truth. Now how couldn't you be tantalized by a description like that.
Well, much like communism, it sounds good on paper but doesn't quite translate to real life. Stolen, as we come to find out early in the film, is no Thomas Crown Affair. Stripped of its movie magic, the story has no witty banter, no excitingly well-timed art thefts played out for our enjoyment and the characters are far cries from Pierce Brosnan and Renee Russo. Instead, the leggy blond heroine is replaced by an eye-patch wearing, 75 year-old suit and bowler hat clad art detective. Any sexual tension between him and Pierce Brosnan would just be awkward at best. In reality, the international search for these paintings is quite boring - lots of backroom meetings and interviews with swarmy older men. There's a lot of talk about connections to the mafia and the IRA, but it's all just talk and gossip in an attempt to create action where none truly exists.
This is hardly the documentary's major weakness, however. The real problems come in the amateur documentary film-maker level editing and directing. The movie is disjointed, hard to follow and doesn't go into any significant depth into a subject - it's very surface level. While the search for the paintings leads from dead end to another, so too does the movie. Storylines just sort of fall off or stand alone with no fluidity from one to the next. The director chooses the route of having no narrator, which isn't always necessary but if you're not going to use one you've got to take the effort to tie things together yourself for the audience. This is just lazy Busch league amateur hour stuff.
Stolen is uninspiring and lacks any sort of passion, which is sad because the people affected by the robbery are quite passionate about it. The interesting cast of characters grieve over the loss and their love of art is admirable, but is totally not translated into the documentary which makes it that much more frustrating.
In an act of defiance, the Gardner Museum hung up the paintings' empty, original frames just as they were when the collection was in tact. To this day the empty frames poetically remain on the walls, like gaping wounds in the Museum's heart. I immediately took to this notion and let my life imitate art. For hours after the movie finished, I left my t.v. on with nothing but a black screen. It was my act of defiance, displaying for the world the gaping wounds left on my movie loving heart after watching such a terrible documentary. If you're as interested in this subject as I am, I recommend passing on this movie and picking up a book about it - I guarantee you'll learn more, it'll make more sense and be more interesting. Consider TMMC your neighborhood crime watch, like an old lady sitting on her porch with her binoculars. Let me help protect you from being robbed of your life too and when considering watching Stolen, WAIT FOR VHS!
Whether you know it yet or not, the superheros are coming. This weekend's opening of Kick Ass is just the first in a loooong line of superhero movies making their way to theaters in the coming months, and even years. So I asked readers the question, will the influx of superhero movies over saturate the market and burn out audiences? And here's what you said....50% agreed....
NO, I NEED A HERO!
Look at all you damsels in distress. I'm going to grossly over generalize that every one of you readers are males ages 18-45 and played with action figures when you were kids - and hated it when your mother called them dolls. Not too far behind, 33% of you responded "who needs a caped crusader?" and 16% responded you'd just rather watch a romantic comedy. So basically, TMMC readers are split down the middle on how they feel about superhero movies, and that's pretty much what I expected.
Personally, and I've said this before, there is such a thing as too much of a good thing. Except for sex, of course. I like a good superhero movie, but the problem is they're a dime a dozen. For every five really bad superhero movies, you stumble across one that actually has decent writing and acting and breaks out as a mainstream success. With so many superhero movies coming out, I think it will overwhelm and turn off audiences, making it harder for the really good movies to stand out from the pack. Just my hypothesis.
Last week's poll response was a little underwhelming, which made me think that the superhero genre might just not be your thing. So that forced the question, what movie genre does TMMC readers fancy the most? Don't be a high maintenance partner and start pouting and testing me. Instead of making me guess what you don't like, why don't you just tell me what you do enjoy watching? And if you're one of those people that say, "well you should know," I'm sorry, this just isn't going to work out. It's not you baby...it's me. So out of curiosity, what types of movies to you like most?
Stay tuned for a review of the documentary Stolen, a real life Thomas Crown Affair. Watch the trailer.
Well folks, we've made it through another week and I think it's safe to say that spring is finally here. And now that I've said that...it's going to snow this weekend. Oh well, so it goes. If you get a chance don't forget to vote in this week's poll! Less than a day left and the response is pretty low this week - don't have many thoughts on superheros? Not your thang? I'll keep that in mind moving forward. Since it's late in the day, I won't keep you waiting with bated breath and we'll get on with this week's news in review. Soooooo...round it up!
- You've seen countless actors and actresses bare it all in magazines over the years, but how about cartoon characters? Someone at DreakWorks has officially lost it, allowing the online pub VMan to publish compromising photos of the stars of the upcoming Shrek 4 movie. Awkward, party of one. Apparently Donkey is into threesomes and, contrary to his name, Puss is a homosexual. This is some serious PR gone wrong people, check it out.
- The Tribeca Film Festival has announced their list of 35 jurors for this year's movie fest, and it reads like an unemployment line cattle call. They include Jessica Alba, Aaron Eckhart, America Ferrera, Alicia Keys and Zach Braff. What this says to me is that for the next year, whenever a movie boasts an award from the Tribeca Film Festival, I should take that with a grain of salt. Read more.
- STOP THE PRESSES - this one's a biggie! Kubrick's lost film is coming together and they've cast Sam Rockwell and Scarlett Johansson to star as the leads. Ok, so the first half of the sentence excited me. Geez, how many sexual favors do you think half of Hollywood performed to try to get a piece of this movie - who wouldn't want to be attached to the lost work of a genius? Lunatic at Large is a movie Kubrick was commissioned for in the 50's and fell off the world's radar only to be uncovered a few years ago, well after the infamous director's death. Well the script has been tightened up, the actors have been cast, and that's about all we know. Looking forward to watching this unfold! Read more.
- Who needs the Obamas when you can have the real Camelot in your face and on the big screen? Rachel Weisz has been attached to a bio pic of the former first lady Jackie Kennedy Onassis, which is interesting considering her fiance is producing and directing. Nepotism much? I actually think she could do the role justice and am eager to learn more. Apparently the movie will chronicle the four days between JKF's assassination and burial. A real feel good piece, no doubt. Read more.
- And finally, for all you musical fans out there (all four of you) two big ones are heading into production this summer for your enjoyment. Broadway hit In the Heights and the Kevin Bacon classic Footloose are finalizing castings and getting ready to role tape. These are only a few of the slew of musicals heading our way in the future, thanks to the success of movies like High School Musical. Damn you Zack Efron! Wicked is also coming down the pike as is The Best Little Whorehouse in Texas, as early reported by TMMC. Read more.
That's all she wrote - have a great weekend!
Unfortunately, this week I've taken a bit ill and have found myself stricken with strep throat. What the hell!? Isn't that something you only get in grade school? I'm nearly 30! Well as a result, I've been forced to forgo a trip to the movie theater and have had to settle on renting a second movie to review for you this week. Two rentals in a row - I should be ashamed. After perusing a limited selection at Blockbuster, I ultimately decided on the Oscar nominee and critically acclaimed movie An Education. After missing it in theaters, I couldn't help but wonder what all the fuss was about.
Set in suburban London in the early 1960's, An Education is a coming of age story of a schoolgirl, played by Carey Mulligan. Our young protagonist meets an older, 30-something lad, played by Peter Sarsgaard, and is dazzled by his free-spirited, wealthy and international lifestyle. He teaches her the finer things in life, the fun that can be had and the love that can be shared. However, as the two grow closer Mulligan learns that love is not always pretty in the garden of good and evil and her Adam is quite the white collar con artist, playing his 'clients,' her parents and even her. Ultimately, the schoolgirl learns a lesson about life and herself that she'll carry with her forever.
Perhaps the greatest lesson I learned was that there were no statutory rape laws in 1960s London. Perhaps I'm more of a prude than I thought, because there was something utterly disturbing about how normal it was that a 16 year-old was dating a man twice her age. Her parents practically wrap her up in a bow and willingly toss her off to the man! As long as he has some money and will take good care of her...and if he can elevate her status, even better! Ummm...excuse me?! Looking at the bigger picture, An Education captures the stifling limitations and lack of options for intelligent young women growing up in early 60s London, a world with one foot in Victorian England and the other in a modern, post-war era. Get an education, but only if it doesn't interfere with finding a husband! Rubbish.
An Education is a bit perplexing in that it is, and isn't, so many things. It's pretty without being beautiful, it's sensitive without being emotional (how very British), it's sophisticated without being pretentious (how very un-British) and, oddly enough, it's interesting while being rather dull. The writing is strong, subtle and witty, and it's a blessing to watch a movie about a schoolgirl that doesn't involve endless hours of teen angst care of the Twilight series (good lord they make high school look exhausting). But with little action it tends to meander rather than take the direct route, leading to "ok, and the point is....?" What I ended up gathering is that it's not meant to be a story full of action that wows you, it's a character sketch that's supposed to be provocative. And what a character she is.
This is Carey Mulligan's movie front to back - her big coming out party that shouts "I'm young, attractive AND I can act." Take that Scarlett Johansson! This movie would be nothing without Mulligan - what could otherwise be a boring snoozefest she turns into an Oscar worthy performance (hence her nomination). She's compelling, delightful to watch and even when she's not speaking your eye is just drawn to her on the screen. She has a very Katie Holmes, girl next door quality about her; that is if Katie wasn't really a droid and could act. While Peter Sarsgaard also delivers a solid performance, and does a great job slowly revealing his character over the course of the movie, he's way overshadowed by the rising star that is Mulligan. Already being hailed the next Audrey Hepburn or Kate Winslet, she is absolutely going to be someone to watch in the next few years. Just lay off the coke and stay the hell away from Hollywood starlets and you'll be just fine Carey!
An Education was a smash hit, blow out with critics but I'm not so sure I'm as carried away. Without Mulligan at the helm I'm sure I wouldn't have enjoyed it nearly as much as I did. While it can get rather droll at times, it is pretty compelling overall for a coming of age movie. It's certainly not for everyone, but if English coming of age movies are your thing (regardless of what that says about you) you'll thoroughly enjoy it. And if you're just a fan of plain good acting, you won't be let down by these performances. While I feel a bit wishy washy on the movie itself, Ms. Mulligan puts this one over the edge for me. So skip class and get An Education well worth a DO A MATINEE!
Check out the trailer.
I guess I was feeling a little sinister when selecting some new movies to preview this week, because these all take a walk on the dark side. Everything has a nasty underbelly, you just have to look hard enough to find it. What's TMMC's dark side? I take bribes from studios to write good reviews of their movies. Ok, not really - but if anyone reading this is from a movie studio, my price is pretty low, as are my moral standards, so feel free to e-mail me at tmmcritic@gmail.com.
Whether it be a childhood classic, our nation's capital or love - there's always another side to the seemingly harmless, just waiting to be explored. These upcoming new movies journey to the dark side of all three.
Disappointed with Tim Burton's Alice in Wonderland remake? Not foreboding enough for you? Maybe Malice in Wonderland is more your speed. Don't ask me where this one popped up from, because it's been off my radar until just now - and it releases this Friday! I suggest everyone just lower their expectations a bit until we can learn more, this could be fantastically interesting or make Burton's movie look like a masterpiece. In this modern remake, Alice is an American student studying in London and gets caught up in an underworld filled with shady characters. Actually sounds like a fun night out to me. Check out the trailer.
Can't afford to make it to Vegas? Why not see if you can make it to D.C. instead - they're doing just as muchgambling with your money. The upcoming movie Casino Jack and the United States of Money (phew, that's a mouthful), explores the lobbying and laundering of dirtbag Jack Abramoff. Perhaps you've heard of him? The king of all lobbyists, Abramoff made millions for many while wheeling and dealing the system and took a lot of bigwigs down with him when he was dethroned. Ok, so the darker side of politics is nothing new or shocking, but this looks like a great political documentary and will just give you another reason to become a disenfranchised voter. Hitting theaters May 7, check out the trailer.
Love can seem pretty harmless, but it can be damn near lethal at times. Particularly when it involves cheating spouses...and lots of money. See, that's the nice thing about having no money, you never have to worry about anyone trying to marry you for it. In I Am Love, the wife of an heir to a fortune, played by the great actress and gender bender Tilda Swinton, finds herself in a torrid love affair with her husband's business partner. And that's about all I could get from the trailer. But what really sets this apart from other love affair movies is it's beauty...so of course it's no surprise it's European. This really does look like it's going to be stunning - the type of movie you call a film and see in a cinema, not a movie theater. It's too bad we have to wait to June 18 to bask in it - but it's something to look forward to! Check out the trailer.
If you haven't already, don't forget to vote in this week's poll!
