Monday, March 29, 2010

Goya's Ghosts; About Neither Goya Nor Ghosts...Discuss

It's not secret, I'm a fan of period pieces; those wonderful movies that make even the Great Depression romantically dramatic.  Don't they just make you wish you could be beheaded in the French Revolution or live in a tenement in a Jewish ghetto...ahh, the good ole days.  Period pieces may glaze over and romanticize history, but they sure make for some good film making.  That was the catalyst and my thought process when I rented 2007's Goya's Ghosts, starring Javier Bardem and Natalie Portman.  What could possibly be more fun than the Spanish Inquisition on a Sunday night!?

Don't let the title fool you, this fictitious movie has about as much to do with the artist Francisco Goya as it does Andy Warhol.  Rather, it's about Goya's Spain, a snapshot of the world in which the artist lived and drew his inspiration, from the Inquisition to the invasion of Napoleon.  Goya and his art provide only the context without really contributing content.  He is simply a pawn in a game for a young girl's life between the Church and her family...and some other weird stuff happens too.  Like Maury Povich paternity test weird.  The movie is driven by a bizarre story that lacks any heart or themes, ending up bordering on the comical.  And you thought only Mel Brooks could make the Spanish Inquisition funny.

Considering this is a recent release, the subject matter is timely in exploring what people will confess to when exposed to torture.  Didn't I just see that debate on Hardball last night?  However, while interesting, the movie lacks any congruity to make this a main theme.  Instead there are so many plot twists and turns it's hard to understand, or care, what the point is.  There's no charisma between the characters and the storyline and they end up just seeming to coexist.  It starts off with a strong enough story, but just gets bogged down in the history weeds and you're not sure which is driving the movie out of control.  It's like a Toyota Prius driving down the road with the wheels coming off along the way.  It's just a damn shame the movie couldn't be recalled too.

In summation, Goya's Ghosts is a bad Spanish version of Les Miserables; Victor Hugo meets tella novella.  Even with some good art direction, a pretty movie can't make up for mediocre writing and overall poor directing that's absolutely all over the place.  It's really inexplicable as the director, Milos Forman, has produced some great, Oscar-winning works including Amadeus, One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest and Ragtime.

On the brighter side of things, Javier Bardem delivers a strong and compelling performance as a Spanish inquisitor turned French revolutionary (don't ask, it's that weird).  Natalie Portman is typical Portman, inconsistent at best.  How that girl can go from good to bad to good within the same line always stymies me.  You've got a Harvard degree, get it together!

If you like period pieces as much as I do, save yourself the money, time and angst with this one.  If you're a fan of Goya's work, rent the movie and skip through to the credits, the only part of the movie that does the artist any justice.  I'd love to visit Spain one day, but I'm sure as hell going to sue my travel agent for booking me on a plane to Goya's Spain.  No wonder there are so many ghosts in his life - this movie haunts me too, which is why Goya's Ghosts is only getting a PUT IT IN YOUR NETFLIX QUEUE! 

Don't let the trailer fool you!

Sunday, March 28, 2010

3-D, Lukewarm Reception for Movies of the Future

Last week's TMMC Poll asked you, readers, what you think about the latest film craze, 3-D.  The results have been tallied and...IT'S A TIE!   

You were split right down the middle, with 50% of readers loving the cheap thrills that 3-D offers and 50% saying it gives you headaches. How red state/blue state of you. Regardless, it looks like 2010 will be the year of the 3-D, with more and more movies jumping on the bandwagon and releasing in 3-D, including Clash of the Titans, Shrek Forever After, Toy Story 3, Saw VII and Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows. 3-D is even hitting home theaters as well, with Avatar preparing to launch it's 3-D DVD. Any way to nickel and dime consumers at the box office. However us consumers hold the fate of this movie medium in our hands.

As you may have heard, this past weekend saw a spike in 3-D prices around the country, increasing up to 26% in some places with prices over $20/ticket!!  Can you believe it!?  Why yes, let me pay YOU $22 to let ME go cross-eyed for 2 hours and get a headache!  The price increase may end up hurting movies in the long run, turning people off to the medium entirely.  If you're as interested in this topic as I am, check out this great Wall Street Journal article.
While you're here, take a second to vote in this week's TMMC poll - a good one if I do say so myself.  With the writer of Alice in Wonderland officially on board to do the scrip of Disney's live-action movie Malificent, the rumor mill has been working over time.  Tim Burton is reportedly highly interested in working on the project (which would bring back nearly the entire creative team of Alice in Wonderland) and now Angelina Jolie's been rumored to be interested in playing the evil queen.  What do you think of that one?!  She's already accustomed to wearing a vial of blood around her neck, what more does she need to do to land the deal?

Hopefully if Burton does sign on for this one, he'll take into account many of the criticisms given to Alice in Wonderland by TMMC readers and really push the envelope with Malificent. Go big or go home Burton - really make those kids cry!

So to review, VOTE. You don't even have to go to a polling station, I can't make it any easier for you!

Thursday, March 25, 2010

TMMC Classic Collection - Who's Afraid of Virginia Woolf?


In this installment of the TMMC Classic Collection, we visit the 1966 movie Who's Afraid of Virginia Woolf?  Starring Elizabeth Taylor and Richard Burton, don't let this black and white movie fool you, it certainly stands up to, if not outweighs, any of its modern counterparts.  The movie was so edgy for its time, it's credited with being responsible for the creation of the MPAA rating system and theoretically is the first R rated movie of all time.  Based of Edward Albee's play of the same name, the film was nominated for a whopping 13 Oscars and deservedly won 5, including a Best Actress nod for Taylor.

Taylor and Burton (who at the time were husband and wife) play the fictitious couple George and Martha, and in a sick way are meant to be the modern versions of the first First Family.  I say in a sick way because George and Martha don't like each other...no, I take that back.  They hate each other.  So what makes the most sense when you hate your spouse and want to kill them?  Throw a party of course!  Because nothing says "this is going to be a hell of a night" more than being around a fighting couple.

The movie focuses on the never ending cocktail party from hell, an unforgettable night for its four participants.  George and Martha and their guests, a young couple and colleague of George's, spend a tormented night together that goes from bad to worse, as they peel away the layers of their marriages.  The poor young couple have no idea what they've gotten into as they blindly fall into the night's abyss.  It's a night filled with fury, lust, deceit and sadness, making the Real Housewives of Orange County look well adjusted.  And you have a front row seat for the fireworks!

Witty, sharp-tongued and psychological, the movie is fantastically quick paced at times, while quiet and contemplative at others.  And with enough hatred, physical and emotional abuse, it plays out like Precious for the upper white middle class; except all these actresses shave their legs.  Watching the movie is like watching a train gong down the track at break-neck speed, taking out people left and right, wrecking their lives along the way.

The fights go from the hilarious to the frightening very quickly, and you spend half the movie somewhere in between laughter and pity.  You learn these people are hurting under the surface deeper than you could've imagined.  At times you can't believe what you're watching, and when you consider that this came out in 1966 you can completely understand the controversy that surrounded it.  It truly must have turned American society upside down, showing a very ugly underbelly of marriage.

What makes this movie what it is, is the sublime acting from all four main actors, all of whom were nominated for Academy Awards for these roles.  It's Elizabeth Taylor at her finest, before she started howling at the moon (seriously folks, if you haven't seen the clip of her interview where she howls, you have to check it out now).   Her performance is remarkable and surpasses many of today's best actresses, drawing you into the movie within the first five minutes.   Also kudos for some really great camera work that mimicks the intensity of the scenes.

There's enough rich themes and material to keep you thinking and talking about the movie for hours.  My only problem with it is that it goes off the psychological, existential deep end at a point, which makes it a bit hard to follow by the conclusion.  Apparently, it's all just a metaphorical question of perception vs. reality - which was difficult to grasp, at least for me.  It's the only reason why I don't give the movie my highest rating.  Nonetheless, this is a fantastic departure from today's Blockbuster hits and deserves your attention.  So don't be afraid of this big, bad, black and white Woolf, and check out a movie well worth a DO A MATINEE! 

Click here for the trailer, but it really doesn't do the movie justice.

Wednesday, March 24, 2010

TMMC Wants You...

Do you like movies?
Do you make your friends laugh with your witty banter?
Do you like to see your name in lights?
TMMC wants YOU!

It's hard out here for a movie pimp and TMMC is looking for some help from you, my fearless readers.  Unfortunately, TMMC interns have been slacking lately and starting to complain about being chained to their computers.  As it's against my beliefs to hire child labor, and since it's apparently not socially acceptable anymore, I turn to you readers to chip in and help out for the good of the cause.  Oh shut up, I'm not nearly as socialist as Obama.  

If you've ever had an opinion of a movie, and if you're desperate for attention, you're invited to submit your own reviews for posting on TMMC.  Contrary to other popular blogs, I'm seriously interested in what you have to say.  So put your thoughts onto the computer screen and share them!  Requirements for submissions...
  • A posting reviewing a movie - any genre or release date (no movie is too old and porn reviews are welcome!)
  • 400-900 words in length
  • Keep things PG-13
That's it!  I won't edit anything without your consent, so what you submit is what you'll see posted.  This is all about your voice.   If you're interested, and I hope that you are, just submit your entries to TMMCritic@gmail.com.  So get out there and watch some movies and let the world know what you think.  It's the best way to celebrate a democracy besides throwing bricks through windows and making death threats to opposition members.

Tuesday, March 23, 2010

It's a Small World After All

No today's blog post isn't about the ancient, and now overtly stereotypical, Disneyland ride (because in 2010, every Asian you meet is clad in a kimono, obviously).  Instead, it's a warning to start donning your glasses, and not the 3-D kind.  A string of great foreign films has started hitting theaters so you'll need your reading glasses for these subtitles.  Oh stop whining, you could use some culture.  Besides, the following that I've selected will keep you on the edge of your seat and are worthy of any Hollywood blockbuster.  And since they weren't made in Hollywood, that means they're probably even better!

First up, the biggest film to come out of Argentina since Evita, and this one doesn't come with Madonna OR Antonio Banderas.  You had me at hello.  Academy Award winner for Best Foreign Language Film, The Secret In Their Eyes follows a former criminal court investigator turned writer as he attempts to solve a 25 year-old unsolved rape and murder case.  In theaters April 16, this thriller looks like it might actually pack some punch, so it might be hard to read the subtitles with your hands over your eyes.  Regardless, I'm excited.  Check out the trailer.

Theoretically released on March 12, but just now appearing in theaters, at least in my area, comes another stirring foreign film, Mother.  This one isn't just a thriller, it looks downright terrifying.  And not just because it has a mother screaming in Korean - believe me, I had a Korean friend growing up and nothing is as intimidating as a Korean woman screaming at you to wake up after a sleepover.  In the movie, when her son is wrongly accused of murder, one mother stops at nothing to find the true killer.  I'll tell you one thing, if she was a Greek mother all she would've said is, "it's o.k., I make lamb."  Check out the trailer.

If you don't want an Argentine steak or Korean rice for dinner, why not have some Italian pasta?  Not the most horrifying movie I've selected for today, Vincere is surely scary in the fact that it's the only one to be based off a fascist Nazi supporter.  The movie is based on the secret true story of Benito Mussolini's mistress, considered by some as the dictator's muse and inspiration.  Nothing says I love you like war and mass murder.  "Happy Valentine's Day baby, I brought you a revolution."  Gee thanks Moose, way to make me look like a chump.  In theaters as of March 19, though I still haven't seen it around in my neighborhood, this movie looks stunningly beautiful and has something very Shakespearian about it.  Check out the trailer.

Monday, March 22, 2010

Ghost Writer; the health care debate had more suspense

While Roman Polanski prepares to incorporate orange jumpsuits into his wardrobe, his latest, and perhaps last, movie Ghost Writer is now out in theaters. Several weeks ago, TMMC brought you a sneak preview of the movie and I noted with excitement my anticipation for the political thriller. Unfortunately, thrilling is not a word I would use to describe this movie now after seeing it. Thrill-less is more like it.

In Ghost Writer, Ewan McGregor plays a writer who finds himself ghost writing the memoirs of a controversial former British Prime Minister (obviously a Tony Blaire metaphor), played by Pierce Brosnan.  Caught in the PM's inner circle as a web of scandal untangles, McGregor finds himself way over his head and uncovers a secret with the potential to drop the political bomb of the century.  Sounds great, doesn't it?  I'm running out the door to see it right now!  Too bad a 50 word summation is more exciting than the real deal.

Ghost Writer holds so much potential and you'd think it would be well protected in Polanski's capable hands. Unfortunately, it packs more bark than bite.  It draws you in very quickly with its suspense and intrigue and a very Hitchcock-ian brooding and mysterious feel.    The audience is guided down winding paths of plot that lead to one dead end after another, opening up new cans of worms which you would expect of any good political thriller.  But with so little action, there's little pay off.  And as more and more layers of the onion are peeled away the pace of the movie slows down to a snails crawl, to the point of "get on with it!"

Yet still, you hold out for hope that at some point something big is going to happen that will turn the world upside down.  Something big does happen, but it's not the pay off you expect or even desire.  In the end, it all seems so simple and you're left feeling unsatisfied, if not downright angry that you've invested so much time and energy into staying awake the entire time.  The ending could be considered clever, but by the time it rolls around you're so disenchanted with the movie you don't much care.

With some great art direction Polanski gets credit for setting a great tone and mood and credit must also be given to the sophisticated writing, for the most part.  But alas, when the crux of the movie boils down to America peeing on the carpet like a dog again, you just feel like you've been there, seen that.  Bad America...bad girl!  Now I'm going to rub your nose in it again, that's the only way you're going to learn.  We got it already - America bad, everyone else good.  Let's move on, can't we?

McGregor, Brosnan and Olivia Williams (playing Brosnan's wife) deliver strong performances that only make you feel further cheated.  I trusted you Ewan McGregor!  I followed you blindly, was your companion in adventure, and you let me down!  If Polanski was trying to channel the great Hitchcock, it comes to no surprise that he included a famous Hitchcock blond (if you're unfamiliar with Hitchcock's obsession with including blonds in his movies, you should read up on it, it's fascinating).  What is surprising is that they decided to cast Kim Cattrall in the role.  And even more surprisingly, she didn't entirely blow it!  Don't get me wrong, she delivers the weakest performance  but I was just impressed that she didn't ruin the movie entirely.  The most you'll hate of her is that she can't keep a British accent for two lines in a row, so you vaguely feel like you're watching Sex and the City's Samantha Jones disastrously trying to pull off some kinky role play.  The nice thing about lowering the bar so much for her is that she actually exceeded my expectations.  Good for you Kim Cattrall!

Confusingly, there's one aspect of the movie that drove me nuts more than anything else.  What can only be considered a sloppy attempt to lower the movie's MPAA rating, all the F-bombs have been dubbed over and replaced with less harsh language.  And it's not like it's smoothly handled with the magic of editing - it's absolutely blatant.  The character's face is 20 feet tall on the screen and looking directly at the camera saying "f*#!," but all you hear is "bloody bastards."  Excuse me?  Did you really think we wouldn't notice that?  It's not even the same number of syllables!  And it happens not once, but at least three times on my count!  What are we doing here people, watching the movie on TBS?

Despite receiving critical acclaim, I'm not quite sure how Ghost Writer will fare with audiences.  When I read things like "Polanski's best movie since the 70's," it makes me wonder if he was that good of a director to begin with.  Certainly for all its similarities, a Hitchcock triumph it was not.  If you're a fan of the genre, check it out, but lower your expectations...lower....lower....lower....there you go.  I may not be the best writer in the world, but the Ghost Writer is so transparent it deserves a BREW & VIEW IT!

Check out the trailer, makes it look real good, doesn't it.

Tuesday, March 16, 2010

Quit Knocking, Nobody's Home!



Due to unforeseen circumstances, TMMC is taking a short break to make some more popcorn, but I'll be back as soon as you can say the longest movie title in history, 2005's...

Night of the Day of the Dawn of the Son of the Bride of the Return of the Revenge of the Terror of the Attack of the Evil, Mutant, Hellbound, Flesh-Eating Subhumanoid Zombified Living Dead, 
Part 3

Friday, March 12, 2010

TMMC Weekly Round Up

Once again work travel reared its ugly head, causing me to slip in this week's postings.  Sorry about that TMMC readers!  Luckily, I've made it back just in time to get a good Weekly Round Up in under the gun.  If you're anything like me, you're patting yourself on the back right now just for making it through another work week without melting down or running away to Tijuana.

Folks, ease up on Tim Burton in this week's poll!  I know Alice in Wonderland wasn't Batman, but he's getting slaughtered out there.  Geez, no party loyalists here.  If you haven't already, vote in the poll and help save the master of the macabre from losing his head!

Here's all the movie news you missed this week...
  • Christian activists, start sharpening your pitchforks and gassing up your torches!  Paramount Pictures is reportedly developing a 3-D movie on the Book of Genesis and the story of creation.  Adam and Eve nude in 3-D?  Sounds spiritual to me.  Read more.
  • Warner Brothers is making Leonardo DaVinci their next action hero a la National Treasure and Indiana Jones.  Now that DaVinci's career is going to blow up, you know he's going to end up divorcing Dan Brown.  So sad.  Read more.
  • Suicidal Munchkins Wanted.  Warner Brothers is also looking into making a fantasy series out of L. Frank Baum's The Wizard of Oz.  Likely more true to the books than the 1939 classic movie, the series could potentially include up to 14 movies!!  Suck on THAT Harry Potter.  Read more.
  • In between his naps, Clint Eastwood has his sight set on making a biopic of J. Edgar Hoover, the infamous founder and director of the FBI.  Dan Lance Black, screenwriter of Milk, has already completed the script - if he includes enough cross dressing scenes, think he can squeeze out another Oscar win?  Read more.
  • We're getting closer to knowing who will play the iconic 1940's comic book character Captain America.  Not so fast John Krasinski (that's what she said).  After The Office star reportedly nabbed the part, rumors have surfaced that he's not even on the shortlist. Read more.
  • And most importantly, more than 1,100 female aviators received the Congressional Gold Medal for their service as WWII Women Airforce Service Pilots (WASP).  With less than 300 members still alive, these trailblazing women were pioneers in flying planes and serving the nation as part of the U.S. military before women were even allowed to serve.  With no benefits, military rights or acknowledgment from the government for nearly 66 years, WASP left their civilian lives and logged millions of flight hours in every mission except combat.  Overlooked for generations, they finally received what they deserved with the nation's top honor on Wed.  TMMC was lucky enough to experience this emotional ceremony first hand and celebrate these women.  See it for yourself here.  So what does this have to do with movies?  Walt Disney provided the logo for the WASP - a flying little spitfire of a gremlin, Fifinella.
    And so ends another edition of the Weekly Round Up.  With that, I'm off to catch a flight to Vegas for my own cliche version of The Hangover.  Hope I come back with all my teeth.  Enjoy the weekend!

        Tuesday, March 9, 2010

        Alice in Wonderland, As Bound & Gagged by Disney

        If you didn't realize that Tim Burton's Alice in Wonderland was my most anticipated movie of 2010, then you don't read TMMC enough.  As an avid Burton junkie, you can bet I was in the theater as early as possible to get a seat front and center; top hat, frilled collar and all.  Setting up a full fledged tea party in the middle of a dark theater just became too much of a logistical nightmare, so I was forced to leave my teapot at home.  Making sure to sit as far away as possible to the nearest child under 10, I was ready and beyond excited - no runny nosed half pint was going to ruin this one for me, that's for damn sure.

        Why was I so excited?  Lewis Carroll's story just lends itself to Burton's creativity - it's a match made in movie heaven, where Will Ferrell is still funny and Cameron Diaz works in retail.  How could you not be curious to see what the master of the macabre does with a world where all its inhabitants are on LSD?  AiW follows Burton's latest remake trend and brings him back to the House of Mouse where he got his start.

        I always find it ironic when Burton teams up with Disney, considering he was not the happieset animator during his time there.  This I learned at his current exhibit at the MoMA in NYC.  With personal sketches of the big D machine eating up creative monsters and spewing out sugar cookie cutter characters, it was not hard to see how he felt about his former controlling employer.  To think, what would Aladdin have been with Burton behind the pencil - that monkey would've been rabid and Aladdin would've been a member of the undead.  Regardless, both embrace the absurd and fantastical with fresh and colorful creativity that I love.

        In all, AiW didn't exceed my expectations, but it satisfied me thoroughly.  Do you have a favorite dish that your grandma used to make?  Has your mother evert tried to make it using the same recipe, but it's still just not the same?  It tastes great and you're totally happy, but there's just something missing (sorry Ma, you'll get there!).  That's a bit how I felt about AiW.  It was a good, solid Burton movie that I'll watch again for sure, but there was just something missing from what you expect from him.

        I think all the elements where there - solid enough writing, great casting, rich art direction, and costumes and make-up saturated in color and pop.  If it was a dessert, it would be th emost decadent on the menu, begging you to shove your face into it (hmmm, another food reference, I must be hungry).

        It's everything you anticipate it to be, but it's got the Disney seal of approval all over it, keeping Burton in-check and sometimes restrained.  The characters are deeper and more textured than the original story, which I liked, but they lack the real sinister or dark elements that you long for with Burton.  It's so child appropriate that it's a bit disappointing.  What about giving the Red Queen a fetish with heads?  Or giving the Mad Hatter schizophrenic and psychopathic tendencies?  Where was the edge?  Where was the inappropriate adult humor?  Where was the absurd upsidedown zaniness of Wonderland?  It was definitely good, but way too tame considering all the available resources.  This can particularly be said when you have the talent of Depp and Bonham Carter at your finger tips.

        One striking problem with Depp was, unfortunately his accent (think of an effeminate Shrek).  Add in the maddening riddles and it leads to several moments of, "did anyone catch that!!??"  By the end of the movie, that will piss you off.  Meanwhile, Bonham Carter is too perfect for the Red Queen and Mia Waikowska as Alice is someone I hope we see more of in the future.

        I have to give credit to Burton for staying true to the heart of the original while re-inventing a classic.  Several points just make you smile.  He also did a great job at sticking to one storyline and following it through to the end.  Burton tends to be exceptional at this.  Instead of weaving a tangled web of subplot and storylines, he picks a main theme and does a great job at fleshing it out with his characters.  Sure, it's simple and at transparent at times, particularly for a world that's supposed to be topsy turvey, but sometimes I'd rather that than seven underdeveloped, unsatisfying stories competing for attention.  That's a TMMC pet peeve.

        And let me give a quick shout out to Danny Elfman for giving AiW a great score and theme song for Alice.  Totally appropriate and textured, it really adds to the movie and sticks with the standard Burton style.

        Unlike action thrillers, Alice in Wonderland doesn't benefit greatly from being viewed in 3-D.  It doesn't go for cheap 3-D tricks or take great advantage of the medium, but it does add another layer in being a visitor to the macabre world.  There is something to be said for feeling like you're right there with Alice on her adventure.  My only problem with the relatively new medium since it hit the mainstream is it seemes to mute colors.  In a Tim Burton movie, color plays a significant role and so it was sometimes disappointing to feel like you were missing out.  I'd like to see it in 2-D now, to be honest, and compare.  Oh, and it's not Avatar, so don't even start with comparisons.  Damn blue rodents - someone call an exterminator already!

        All in all, go see Alice in her glory.  It's not Burton's finest, but it's an enjoyable and endearing ride worth a reunion of some great classic characters.  It may not be doing well with critics, but it is gaining traction with audiences.  Alice's return to Wonderland is wonderfully fun, even with a Disney muzzle on it.  So take a bite out of the sweet labled eat me, go through the looking glass and DO A MATINEE!

        Sunday, March 7, 2010

        And the Winner is....

        Mariana of Chicago

        Congrats Mariana, as the winner of the first annual TMMC Oscars Sweepstakes you just received a $50 gift card to Fandango.com!  Thanks to everyone who voted and remember, it's an honor just to be nominated.  Oh wait, you weren't nominated for anything.  Well, as I like to say, don't go away mad, just go away.  Thanks to our resident Kimpton Hotels & Restaurants representative for overseeing the grand prize drawing, assuring its validity.

        At the House of TMMC, I can honestly say the most exciting parts of this evening's festivities were the grand prize drawing and the Thai takeout smorgasbord.  Other than that, this was one of the most boring and tedious Oscar telecasts I've ever seen.  I mean seriously, it was painful.  James Cameron has directed trips to the bathroom more interesting.  What the hell happened with the dynamic duo Steve Martin and Alec Baldwin?  What...was...that?  That was worse than David Letterman's Uma/Oprah Oscar moment.  And then they just disappeared for half the show.  Honestly, I think they got so bored they left the Kodak Theater, went across the street to the nearest bar and chilled for two hours before realizing they had to finish the damn thing up.  Even Roger Ebert, of whom I'm a devoted Twitter follower, said, "I don't remember when I've seen a less exciting Oscarcast."  And we knew we were in real trouble when the interpretive dancing began.  I'm sure the U.S. Army appreciated the 60 gay men dancing to the score of The Hurt Locker.

        When the biggest surprise is Best Foreign Language Film, you know you might as well flip on the Simpsons and Family Guy.  Quentin Tarantino is hitting the bar in desperation and anger; Kathryn Bigelow is renting a gigolo to celebrate her big win; Sandra Bullock is sobbing in relief of never having to do Miss Congeniality 3 and James Cameron is putting together a pre-nup stating that all future ex-wives are forbidden to make competing movies.  Ever.  Even Barbara Walter's last Oscar special was a predictable snoozefest.  Except for the close up of Mo'Nique's unshaved legs - that was just....odd.  Not to mention unnecessary.  And the damn thing went over a half hour!  I want that time of my life back ABC, and I'm holding you accountable.  I could've been doing my taxes or cleaning the refrigerator. 

        And one quick question - when did we suddenly go back to "and the winner is..."?  I thought it was always "and the Oscar goes to...", you know, to make the losers feel better about themselves.  Well I guess we don't care about that anymore.  I say next year they say, "and the LOSERS are..." - and then read the names of everyone who didn't win. 

        Apparently TMMC readers also found this year's Oscars to be utterly predictable, as 77% of you voted in last week's poll that The Hurt Locker would take the big prize.  Only 22% thought Avatar might nab it.  I must say, it is pretty fascinating that the most expensive and highest grossing movie of all time walks away a big Oscar loser.  But, let's not feel too bad for anyone - they may not be going home with a golden ken doll, but they're all headed back to skinny dip in their pools of money.

        Personally, I didn't do too bad with my predictions, correctly guessing 17 of the overall 24 categories.  Ok, it's not Oscar gold, but it's not too bad either.  In the likely event you fell asleep during the show, or just couldn't handle the 20 minute intros for Best Actor and Actress and changed the channel, here's a full list of  Oscar winners.

        Thanks again to all those who voted in both the Oscars Sweepstakes and last week's poll - I really do appreciate it!  Don't forget to vote in this week's poll and come back tomorrow for my much anticipated review of Alice in Wonderland!  Until then, check out the trailer....as if you haven't seen it already.

        Thursday, March 4, 2010

        Weekly Round Up - OSCAR EDITION

        Only three days away and oh what a feeling! Even our Weekly Round Up logo is getting into the golden mood....thanks Tom and Diane.  If you don't have Oscar fever yet, you haven't been reading enough TMMC this week.  I'm ready, waiting, and raring to go for the big night.  Simply, put, if you don't love the Oscars you don't love movies, you don't love politics, and you don't love self adoration.  As for me, I love all three.  So even though my golden ticket must have been lost in the mail, obviously, I've enjoyed covering all things Oscars this week, and hope you have too.

        Before we get to this week's Weekly Round Up - OSCAR EDITION, if you haven't already, don't forget to vote in the TMMC Oscars Sweepstakes for your chance to win a $50 gift card to Fandango.com or a movie theater of your choice.  Entering is simple and even a guess is worth the chance to win free money.  Even the stimulus isn't just handing out free money to you.  ENTER HERE!
        • Our beloved Baaabwaaa Waaawaaa, or Barbara Walters for you New England folk, is taking her last curtain call.  No, she's not dead yet, she's just hosting her last Oscar special after more than 20 years.  Read more.
        • Earlier this week, TMMC brought you the story that Sacha Baron Cohen was announced as a presenter for Sunday's awards.  Not so fast - looks like he ended up getting axed for mocking Avatar.  Apparently James Cameron really has become the Godfather of Hollywood.  Beware Kathryn Bigelow!  Read more.
        • This week TMMC has also kept you a breast of the rollercoaster scandals surrounding The Hurt Locker.  In case you missed it and decided not to keep up with our little blog, ahem, ABC News has done a nice piece recapping the drama and posing the question "Will Hurt Locker be Hurt by Controversy?"  Yes, ABC News is doing so poorly they've become a TMMC contributor.  Read more.
        • You may have missed this one, but the Oscars may not appear on t.v. in the NYC area this year.  That breeze you just felt was 10 million gay men gasping at once.  Another corporate feud between Cablevision and WABC (NY) threatens to pull the channel from the cable provider's line up just in time for Sunday.  Read more.
        • And even though I haven't expressed my excitement enough this week, ALICE AND WONDERLAND COMES OUT TODAY!  I'm probably looking forward to this more than the Oscars themselves, which must mean the movie's going to suck.  I know, I need to start lowering expectations like the White House.  Don your mad hatters and blue dresses and look for my review of it next week.

        Exhausted and panting, and despite defecating in my shorts back at mile 17, my marathon to watch as many Oscar nominated films as possible comes to a close.  Unfortunately, I could not complete the task as I had hoped, seeing only 28 of the 58 movies nominated for awards this year.  Still, the band aids covering my nipples so I didn't rub them raw was a smart idea, and I'm very proud of my overall effort.

        So, have a great weekend and good luck on your Oscar party preparations....don't forget to print out your ballots and/or bingo cards, fix yourself a Martini straight UP and start defrosting your Inglourious Basterds in a blanket, Kosher of course.  Enjoy Sunday's festivities and follow TMMCritic on Twitter throughout the show to get my take on the shenanigans as they unfold.  I'll see you right back here Monday morning with the Oscars Sweepstakes winner and the results of my predictions.

        Without further ado ladies and gentlemen, I give you the 2010 TMMC Oscar predictions...curtains please.

        Wednesday, March 3, 2010

        The Box - New on DVD


        I know it's a bit odd that my last movie review before the Oscars has nothing to do with the main event, but I needed a change of pace.  Consider The Box the Gatorade in an Oscar movie marathon that has been my last month.  So what do you do when you want to take a break from all those amazing Oscar nominated movies?  Rent a movie that pretty much went straight to video and faced wickedly mixed reviews.

        The Box is an oddball psychological thriller set in 1976 Virginia.  The word thriller is used very loosely in this instance.  When a suburban couple receives a mysterious package on their doorstep containing a single button, they're given a simple challenge - press the button and someone, somewhere, who they don't know will die instantly and in exchange they will receive one million bucks in cash.  If they opt not to push the button, the box is returned and they receive a crisp $100 bill for their troubles.  Don't worry about me further spoiling the movie for you, as that would require me to have understood it.

        Fundamentally, next to casting Cameron Diaz, the movie's biggest flaws are the insane plot twists and turns that give you whip lash just by trying to keep up.  (Oh don't think you're getting away that easy Ms. Diaz.  I have more to say to you later).  I found the first forty-five minutes to be a great set up - things were falling into place, suspense was building, my interest was definitely piqued, and I wanted to see more.  But as the movie went on, it meandered away from reality into the bizarre, followed by the "what the hell?"  You desperately hold on to hope that at some point, it'll all come together and make some sense in a grand, "I see dead people" kind of way.  It sorta does....sorta...maybe.

        The Box tries to cram so many thoughts and themes into itself that it's just a bit of a mess.  With thoughts on God, life, death, heaven, hell, purgatory, human compassion, science and innovation, supreme beings and zombies, about the only subject The Box didn't try to tackle was a comprehensive health care initiative.  And was there an Adam and Eve/original sin reference in there somewhere?  Do we have any religious scholars in the room?  Ultimately, every thought and theme is half assed and competes with one another for attention.

        However, none of this could have disappointed me more than Cameron Diaz's performance.  The role was a bit of a stretch to begin with, but has hard as that woman tried, she just couldn't act.  I truly feel she was cast completely for her looks, because she looked the part damn well.  The problem was every time she opened her mouth.  It was like she was so proud of herself just for memorizing the lines, she really didn't care about the acting part.  And the southern accent she attempted made her sound like she was overacting in a Hallmark movie about the dangers of diet pills.

        All this said, I must say the movie itself was well done technically.  I love the art direction which was fantastically 70s detailed, from the shag carpet to the geometric wallpaper to the shows flickering on a television in the background of a scene.  It also had a great authentic 70s movie thriller feel, thanks to the lighting, cinematography and even a symphonic score that shrilled with suspense.  In all honesty, it felt very much like watching an authentic Kubrick film, a la The Shining.

        In that vein, it had a lot of Kubrick-esque characteristics, including long drawn out scenes, interesting camera angles, a plot that's hardly understandable at times and uncomfortably creepy characters.  And like a Kubrick film, all the pieces of the puzzle may not make sense individually, but in the end when they're assembled together, the overall picture is there and it's quite poignant.  While The Box could pass as an homage, it doesn't come close to the original genius.

        Lucky for me I love Kubrick, even if I didn't always understand him, and therefore have a bit of an appreciation for this movie.  Oh it's not great by any means...but there's something compelling about it.  Even a few days after seeing it I'm still thinking about it, so that certainly says something positive.  I mean, would you press the button for a million dollars?  Could your conscience deal with killing someone even if you you didn't know them?  One thing's for sure, even if I was offered a cool million, I'd still just give this one a BREW & VIEW IT!

        Decide for yourself, check out the trailer.

        Tuesday, March 2, 2010

        More Deep Thoughts of the Day, by Oscar

        LATEST NEWS:  Hurry up and lick those stamps - Oscar voting officially closes at 5 p.m. PST today.  Put away your campaign posters and buttons, Tracy Flick, it's all about the wait now.

        More award presenters announced including Barbara Streisand and Robert Downey, Jr. More here.

        Just days before the Oscars, Hurt Locker producers were sued yesterday by an Army sergeant who claims the movie's main character is based on him.  More here.  In other news, TMMC is suing the producers of the Blind Side for basing the movie off my life.  Where did you think Sandy B. got the idea for those bangs?  And to think my bangs could've been nominated for an Oscar.

        And the pain keeps coming for The Hurt Locker - as a follow up to an earlier story brought to you by TMMC, the producer accused of illegal campaigning for Best Picture has been barred from the ceremony.  More here.  Ouch, that's like a president being barred from his own inauguration.  Think he'll rally together Hurt Locker extras and try to storm the Kodak Theater?  Now that would make for some good t.v.

        The good ole election days of broken chads and miscounts may be back again with this year's new Best Picture voting rules.  Written to confuse even the smartest Hollywood starlet, rumor has it Mel Gibson thought he was voting for Avatar, but by marking the wrong chad accidentally voted for A Serious Man and Inglourious Basterds.  Boy must he be pissed.  More here.


        FUN FACTS:
        Youngest Best Actor winner: 
        Adrian Brody (age 29) for The Pianist

        Youngest Best Actress winner:  Marlee Matlin (age 21) for Children of a Lesser God
        Oldest Best Actor winner:  Henry Fonda (age 76) for On Golden Pond
        Oldest Best Actress winner:  Jessica Tandy (age 80) for Driving Miss Daisy






      • Youngest Best Actor winner: Adrian Brody (age 29) for THE PIANIST (2002)
















      • Youngest Best Actress winner: Marlee Matlin (age 21) for CHILDREN OF A LESSER GOD (1986)
















      • Oldest Best Actor winner: Henry Fonda (age 76) for ON GOLDEN POND (1981)
















      • Oldest Best Actress winner: Jessica Tandy (age 80) for DRIVING MISS DAISY (1989)

















      • Youngest Best Actor winner: Adrian Brody (age 29) for THE PIANIST (2002)
















      • Youngest Best Actress winner: Marlee Matlin (age 21) for CHILDREN OF A LESSER GOD (1986)
















      • Oldest Best Actor winner: Henry Fonda (age 76) for ON GOLDEN POND (1981)
















      • Oldest Best Actress winner: Jessica Tandy (age 80) for DRIVING MISS DAISY (1989)

















      • Youngest Best Actor winner: Adrian Brody (age 29) for THE PIANIST (2002)
















      • Youngest Best Actress winner: Marlee Matlin (age 21) for CHILDREN OF A LESSER GOD (1986)
















      • Oldest Best Actor winner: Henry Fonda (age 76) for ON GOLDEN POND (1981)
















      • Oldest Best Actress winner: Jessica Tandy (age 80) for DRIVING MISS DAISY (1989)











      • Monday, March 1, 2010

        The Hurt Locker; it should come with a Xanax Rx

        A little late to the party is better than not arriving at all.  With only days left before the culmination of the awards season, you better believe I was going to find a way to watch The Hurt Locker before they opened that Ernst & Young envelope and announced Best Picture of 2009.  For those of you who are as sad as I am about the Olympics ending, and as bitter at Canada's hockey sweep, here's your one last respite in seeing another nail-biting race.

        Going into the final stretch of the 2010 awards season, the buzz around this film is at such a fever pitch that poor Mary Hart and Billy Bush's heads are about to explode. I admit I'm actually happy to see a movie finally being talked about before an awards show, rather then the annoyingly repetitive "who will you be wearing?"  As an aside, I would really like to see somebody show up to one of these things actually wearing the designer - you know, like Julia Roberts shows up with Karl Lagerfeld draped all over her.  That said, all this Hurt Locker hype ended up setting the bar pretty high for me going into it.  And to sum this review up, it totally blew my expectations away.

        Typically this isn't my kind of movie genre and I definitely overlooked it when it came out in theaters, before the hype began.  I'm not really big into war movies unless they have a significant historical value or are considered groundbreaking.  This from someone who as a kid routinely passed out during blood tests.  What can I say, I prefer to keep blood inside the body, not out.  Still, it's hard not to appreciate The Hurt Locker for its quality and triumphs.  In my opinion, I think it is pretty groundbreaking in not only capturing the raw and gritty realities of war, but also conveying the feelings and emotions of them to the audience. 

        I heard from some interview with Kathryn Bigelow that the movie was designed to make you feel like the fourth soldier in the team.  Well she sure achieved her goal.  You are right there in the moment with the soldiers, trying to catch your own breath as if experiencing their anxiety first-hand.  It's one harrowing scene after another that progressively get more chilling as the movie goes on.  You constantly hope for a break in the angst, but quickly realize that's what it might feel like out there where you can't trust anyone or anything around you.

        It's important to note, the movie is not senseless or gratuitous.  It's incredibly well done so it doesn't come off as sensationalized, but rather mirroring the reality of the wars being fought in the Middle East.    And what's truly interesting is seeing how each character handles and channels it - through violence, emotional breakdowns, disconnection.

        Since my Ebert can't watch these types of movies without getting unbearably uncomfortable, I made my friend Mary Ann watch it with me.  The one thing we resoundingly agreed on - we found ourselves grimacing at the screen throughout the entire movie.  Not because of the violence, but because of the harsh realities.  To have that kind of an effect on an audience is a true testament to the quality of a movie.

        Bigelow also uses the movie's monotony as a fantastic technique to make the audience feel even more inside the action.  The movie does not have a strong plot that guides it throughout.  Instead, it seems like scene after scene of the same thing.  And it dawned on me that I'd probably feel the same way in war - the same thing day in and day out.  One struggle for survival after another.  I found myself counting down the minutes to the end of the movie, just as the soldiers were counting down the days to the end of the rotation.  I thought that was genius of the director.

        Just to mention other A+ factors - some amazing cinematography and writing going on here, with real fleshed out characters.  As for the acting, I can't decide that one.  The main character was great, they all were in fact, but I have to admit the acting almost takes a back seat to the story, the writing, the directing, etc., that I'm not sure if these actors were really great or if anyone could've pulled it off.

        The Hurt Locker will win Best Picture (at least I hope it will) because unlike Avatar, it made me think and feel and didn't do the thinking and feeling for me because it was blockbustered up on steroids.  It's a soon to be classic in its genre.  If I was your drill sergeant, you can be damn sure I'd make you do fifty push-ups and then watch The Hurt Locker. Hoo-rah and PAY FULL PRICE!