Goya's Ghosts; About Neither Goya Nor Ghosts...Discuss

It's not secret, I'm a fan of period pieces; those wonderful movies that make even the Great Depression romantically dramatic.  Don't they just make you wish you could be beheaded in the French Revolution or live in a tenement in a Jewish ghetto...ahh, the good ole days.  Period pieces may glaze over and romanticize history, but they sure make for some good film making.  That was the catalyst and my thought process when I rented 2007's Goya's Ghosts, starring Javier Bardem and Natalie Portman.  What could possibly be more fun than the Spanish Inquisition on a Sunday night!?

Don't let the title fool you, this fictitious movie has about as much to do with the artist Francisco Goya as it does Andy Warhol.  Rather, it's about Goya's Spain, a snapshot of the world in which the artist lived and drew his inspiration, from the Inquisition to the invasion of Napoleon.  Goya and his art provide only the context without really contributing content.  He is simply a pawn in a game for a young girl's life between the Church and her family...and some other weird stuff happens too.  Like Maury Povich paternity test weird.  The movie is driven by a bizarre story that lacks any heart or themes, ending up bordering on the comical.  And you thought only Mel Brooks could make the Spanish Inquisition funny.

Considering this is a recent release, the subject matter is timely in exploring what people will confess to when exposed to torture.  Didn't I just see that debate on Hardball last night?  However, while interesting, the movie lacks any congruity to make this a main theme.  Instead there are so many plot twists and turns it's hard to understand, or care, what the point is.  There's no charisma between the characters and the storyline and they end up just seeming to coexist.  It starts off with a strong enough story, but just gets bogged down in the history weeds and you're not sure which is driving the movie out of control.  It's like a Toyota Prius driving down the road with the wheels coming off along the way.  It's just a damn shame the movie couldn't be recalled too.

In summation, Goya's Ghosts is a bad Spanish version of Les Miserables; Victor Hugo meets tella novella.  Even with some good art direction, a pretty movie can't make up for mediocre writing and overall poor directing that's absolutely all over the place.  It's really inexplicable as the director, Milos Forman, has produced some great, Oscar-winning works including Amadeus, One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest and Ragtime.

On the brighter side of things, Javier Bardem delivers a strong and compelling performance as a Spanish inquisitor turned French revolutionary (don't ask, it's that weird).  Natalie Portman is typical Portman, inconsistent at best.  How that girl can go from good to bad to good within the same line always stymies me.  You've got a Harvard degree, get it together!

If you like period pieces as much as I do, save yourself the money, time and angst with this one.  If you're a fan of Goya's work, rent the movie and skip through to the credits, the only part of the movie that does the artist any justice.  I'd love to visit Spain one day, but I'm sure as hell going to sue my travel agent for booking me on a plane to Goya's Spain.  No wonder there are so many ghosts in his life - this movie haunts me too, which is why Goya's Ghosts is only getting a PUT IT IN YOUR NETFLIX QUEUE! 

Don't let the trailer fool you!